Conflict In Myself

I feel proud of my younger sister because of she seems can do everything on her own. Do not like me, I never done anything big on my own. She live in Australia by herself. Sometime I feel I'm the black sheep in the family because I'm not doing very well in my studies like my other siblings. There is conflict in myself that always saying I'm stupid and useless. I don't even have a driving license because I'm to afraid although on the outside I'm seem to be the brave one.
I don't know how to cook because I'm not interested in doing it. But when I'm in hometown, they always make me feel pressure because of this. I don't understand they always like to follow the old Malays custom where women place should be in the kitchen. I don't see where this will bring us. In my religion (Islam) itself doesn't require us to know how to cook, we just need to eat "Halal" food.

• The Burden of Self Conflict